My cousin is getting married this week. He’s one of those ritual mocking ones who’s spent all these years scoffing at us as we obliged the elders with customary puja participations and got our hands dyed in henna. And now that he’s having to do it all on his own, its totally worth it looking at him cowered under aunties, who are singing age old wedding songs to the beats of a dhol.
Weddings for me, are a striking reminder that while Karan Johar might be vastly exaggerating, he’s not entirely off the mark.
But there’s something that does get left out when he’s busy setting up the next group antakshari scene. It’s the plotting. And the gossip. And the snide glances that communicate as much as “hame to itni achhi sari nahi di usne!”.
And the negotiations and demands which are a part of every Indian wedding… all of which begin with the words “hamare yahan to aise nahi hota”.
Weddings are less about the coming together of two people and more about establishing who’s going to be alpha family in the relationship.
And every exchange is like a dance-off, done to display might as opposed to express love. And usually its the boy’s side that does that (saying so very consciously!)
I’m not against the institution, far from it! But its amazing how predictable each and every wedding becomes when you come across prototypes of relatives – the stressed mom, the unhappy-with-the-rishta dad, the nosy in-laws, the crabby aunt, the indifferent uncle, the enthusiastic brother, the sleepy grandpa .. and the list goes on.
Too bad I’m not going to be able to attend this one in entirety. Its in Delhi and looking at the current state of affairs at home right now, I can’t make it for the majority of the functions. But I am going to make the best attempt to watch from the sidelines (thank you technology) and view the remaining line-up as it happens in Mumbai over the next week.
So the last 3 days have been spent doing that. And a smattering of the same planned for next week.
Will keep you posted. Meanwhile, let me get back to salivating over memories of Delhi wedding food!