I’m functioning on will power these days. And caffeine. Lots of it. There’s just so much to do in a day and I’m still falling short of doing what I wanted to do.
And the last thing I have patience for, is negative, energy sapping people who will rob me of the drive I muster.
So, after careful consideration, I’ve made a mental decision to block out anyone who gossips too much, mopes around too much or criticizes too much.
And so far it’s working for me. But its not half as easy as I thought it would be.
First up, some of these people are close friends and family so you can’t really block them out. You have to be patient and considerate and can’t shove them aside.
Secondly, they’re often overpowering and all-consuming. Their sheer presence makes you feel less happy and less in control. Not unlike a dementor (Harry Potter fans will get what I’m saying).
Personally, I don’t feel like myself when I’m with people who are negative. I become a very unlikeable version of myself and it’s hard to shrug off that avatar so that you can finally see the real you.
And the problem I’ve figured out stems from the fact that I choose to react when instead I should just stay quiet and ignore.
A lot of people I know are extremely diplomatic and are able to to handle negativity really well. They keep their mouths shut, keep smiling and nodding away till the moment passes and then move on to what they really want to do.
But me? Na-uh. I charge.
I am those who are proud to claim that they call a spade a spade. But lets be honest, not everyone wants to know truth in such a brazen manner. When I get annoyed, I have a reflex action to react and not contain and that has landed me on the wrong side of the fence for many a people, especially when I was a young management trainee.
Unfortunately, I’m not much better now.
Many times, it so happens that a few specific people I have in my life, will make a casual negative, regressive, ill-meaning comment, and then I am unable to look beyond it and lock myself into a fairly futile battle of convincing, explaining, fidgeting and ultimately souring the mood for me, for a while at least.
I call these people the dementors of my life and the interesting thing is that these fellows are so negative, that they are barely effected by my outburst, and in fact use it as fodder to create more negativity.
And I’m left aside, sucked out of my energy, feeling angry at my outburst and promising a more classy response the next time over. Watching countless episodes of Downton Abbey and Maggie Smith in particular is helping my cause, I can assure you, but I still have a long way to go in channeling my frustration into effective venom tipped but sugar coated comments that make my point without much fuss.
Till I master that highly essential life art, I’m just going to block them out with my Patronus charm for as long as I can. Or better still, write down my instinctive responses and share them with you for some much needed guidance!