So the thing I feared a lot has happened. I’ve been offered a full time role at an NGO I have admired for ages. Now we’d been discussing a part-time consultant role with them for quite a while now, but this discussion today has totally left me blindsided.
I came to meet M who heads fund-raising at this organisation and wanted me to run a crowd funding project (which I was totally kicked about, by the way). Today ‘M’ met with the head of HR, ‘A’ and told me she’s transitioning and would like me to apply for her role.
‘M’ went on to tell me about the role, how I’d be a great fit and how she imagined I would totally rock it (not in these words though, exactly) and ‘A’ started telling me about the values, mindsets and culture in the organisation. We parted on the note that I think about this proposition (based on interests and ability to manage longer hours away from baby) and get back to them as soon as I can.
Now this is a bit of a full-time conundrum for me.
For the past one month I’ve been in such a ‘part-time’ frenzy that this opportunity has created a slight dissonance in my head. And the ticker running in my brain is displaying questions such as:
- Does taking this job mean I’m moving away from my objective to start something on my own?
- Even though I truly care about the cause and wanted to experience working in this space, will it give me the adequate job satisfaction?
- Will I get any time to pursue and discover some of my other interests?
- If I had to do a full-time job, why quit my last organisation anyway?
- Should I just take up the opportunity anyway and then see if I love it?
- Will I be able to manage a full-time out of home office job with a 8 month old who goes to daycare for just half a day and a mother-in-law who really needs support at this stage?
- If I say no, am I closing the opportunity to work with these guys for good?
In short. I’m a bit at sea here.
Need time to calibrate and think about what my response is going to be. I really don’t want to push this away. But need to work out the perfect proposal so that there can be a win-win.. without moving away from this orbit I have just landed on.
Any suggestions on what I could do? You know where to find me…